Unnies!!! >_< Please help me with my poem!!!

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Unnies!!! >_< Please help me with my poem!!!

Post  Eunjii on Tue Dec 13, 2011 4:12 am

This poem is for my English assignment....I suck at poetry >_< I would like advise and critiques to improve this draft. Please take a look and tell me what you think. ^_^ Thank you!!!


Wearing my glass mask,
I became her.
Aiming for the impossible,
For I am strong; not brittle.
Thriving to be my best,
For I wish to be like the rest.
Hiding my weakness,
For I hope to impress.
Wearing my glass mask,
I disguise myself.

But as I struggle and stumble,
My fragments of hope start to crumble.
For I am not as strong as I thought,
Nor am I be-loved as I ought.
Wearing my glass mask,
I cover my tears.
The tears that are shed,
Shall remain unseen behind the glass.

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Re: Unnies!!! >_< Please help me with my poem!!!

Post  MAIN HEAD QUEEN RAINA on Tue Dec 13, 2011 7:35 am

You know I have a friend that reads a lot in school ~~ I will ask her what she thing ok
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Re: Unnies!!! >_< Please help me with my poem!!!

Post  Anis on Tue Dec 13, 2011 8:05 am

WOW Eunji! That's pretty gooood!
If you consider that 'suckish', then I must be worse LOL
But seriously, you write very well!
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Re: Unnies!!! >_< Please help me with my poem!!!

Post  Eunjii on Wed Dec 14, 2011 12:09 am

Raina wrote:You know I have a friend that reads a lot in school ~~ I will ask her what she thing ok
aigoo!!~ thank you so much, boss~ >w<
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Re: Unnies!!! >_< Please help me with my poem!!!

Post  Eunjii on Wed Dec 14, 2011 12:10 am

nisyaz wrote:WOW Eunji! That's pretty gooood!
If you consider that 'suckish', then I must be worse LOL
But seriously, you write very well!
Aaahh....I'm glad you think it's good!! ^_^ I was afraid it might sound too corny. >.< Thank you, unnie!!!~<3
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Re: Unnies!!! >_< Please help me with my poem!!!

Post  MAIN HEAD QUEEN RAINA on Fri Dec 16, 2011 8:06 am

She likes it but she also find some parts corny ~forgot which parts but its pretty good What a Face
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